Choosing Happiness

I want to start by saying that I am so amazed by the outpouring of support from friends after my last blog post. I was humbled by the conversations it sparked, where I realized I was not the only one who felt the way I did. I heard stories of hurt and confusion as people shared their experiences with me about how real life was so different from the life they had envisioned. And I offered comfort, all the while knowing that maybe it was the simple act of being heard that was most important in those moments.  

I spent a lot of time reading over the past two weeks (that's what infusing "me time" into your schedule does!) and the books that I've devoured have somehow been able to provide some counsel to me. One of the books I read contained this quote: 

"That was just it.  You never knew what lay ahead; the future was one thing that could never be broken, because it had not yet had the chance to be anything.  One minute you're walking through a dark woods, alone, and then the landscape shifts, and you see it. Something wondrous and unexpected, almost magical, that you never would have found had you not kept going." - from Saint Anything by Sarah Dessen. 

I couldn't have said it better myself.  There is something magical out there for me and for all those who are hurting.  I have a piece of art that hangs on the wall in my office that reminds me and all those who see it to "Choose Happiness." It has hung there for close to two years and has gradually turned into my personal mantra.  Even when life seems to be falling apart, there is joy to be found in the clearings of life's forests. It is up to us to open our eyes to find those clearings.

So I'll admit it, I'm a sucker for those personal narratives where the author makes big changes to her life. Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project has helped me to recognize the steps I need to take to make my life full of more joy and happiness. I just finished reading Anna David's Falling for Me and I was reminded that I need to live my life and not wait for someone else to make me happy. I'm not to the point where I feel like I less of a person for not having a partner,  but there is some truth in her premise of making yourself into the best possible version of yourself. Stop simply talking about doing things and start actually doing. Stretch yourself and do the things you didn't think you could do before.  What's holding you back?  When I read that,  I thought to myself,  what was I waiting for? 

Somewhere in the past few weeks I stumbled upon a friend who had created a list of 25 things she wanted to do at 25. Those of you who know me know that I love lists and nothing delights me more than creating a bucket list. Whether it be a list of things to do this fall or 101 things to do in 1001 days, I love the idea of a dream list. So naturally,  I decided to come up with my own list of things to do before I turn 26 (yes, I know I started a month in). I have nothing to wait for and I need to jump in.  I'm sure Anna David and Gretchen Rubin would cheer me on, reminding me to become the most true and authentic version of myself. So here are some of the highlights of my list:
1. Run a half marathon
2. Skydive
3. Go ice skating
4. Attend something political
5. Host a tea party
6. Take a belly dancing class
7. Write to 25 people who inspire me
8. Visit Boston
9. Go camping
10. Build a snowman
11. Start a blog

The next year is sure to be one full of adventure and stretching myself to be Courtney--the Courtney who not only dreams,  but acts on her dreams.  And along the way I can only hope to find true happiness.